You Can’t Lie to a Dog

Cooper

A couple of years ago, I adopted a puppy from a local rescue organization. I’m not sure what I was thinking in getting a puppy since I hadn’t had a dog since I was a child – meaning, I’d never been solely responsible for a dog before.

The first few weeks were rough, and I hired a trainer to help us establish some boundaries. What I learned from that training experience was that I was the one who needed training – not my new pup, Cooper.

Fast forward to today – Coop really is a pretty good dog, but he does have some habits that I need to break. First, he pulls on his leash so hard that it feels more like he’s walking me than the other way around. And he also goes bat-shit crazy when anyone comes to visit – runs around, barks, and jumps on them. And scariest of all – he doesn’t always come when called. (This is a huge safety issue for dogs.)

Recently, a friend who recently adopted a dog told me that she was watching a lot of videos by Cesar Millan, aka “The Dog Whisperer.” So I decided to check out some of his books.

If you know anything about Cesar from his television shows on National Geographic, then you know that he is very big into the idea that dog owners must become the pack leader for their dogs. To do this, he says, you must exert calm, assertive energy.

As a coach, and someone who has studied energy a bit, I love this concept and I thought it would be no problem for me – I mean, after all, I have bent a spoon by managing my energy! “Piece of cake!” I thought.

Then it came time to walk Cooper.

About a year into living with Coop, and many failed attempts to get him to not pull on his leash, I decided I was never going to be able to train him to walk with a loose leash, and that’s just who he was – exuberant and excited. So I bought a Gentle Leader to help at least slow him down and save my shoulder from injuries when he pulled.

But, now armed with this new knowledge from Cesar, I decided to walk him without the Gentle Leader and using just my energy and my new position as pack leader to control him on his walks. And it works – sometimes.

Here’s the thing: Anytime my energy is off for any reason whatsoever, Cooper immediately starts to assert himself as pack leader on the walks again. If I’m frustrated with him, he feels it. If I’m stressed about something in my business, he feels it. If I’m having any self-doubt, he feels it. And it all leads to the same outcome – him out front, pulling me down the path.

The thing is, it’s not just dogs and other animals that feel our energy – other people do, too. Think about how many times you’ve felt the vibe of someone else – if they’re angry, you feel it. If they’re sad, you feel it.

We are constantly giving off an energetic vibe. And other people around us can pick up on that – even if they don’t pick it up consciously, they feel it.

Research shows that happiness leads to success (not the other way around as many people believe.) Think about why that might be. We all want to be around others who make us feel good. And happy people put off happy vibes.

So, how’s your energy today? What kind of vibe are you putting off? If you’re not sure, go spend some time with a dog. They will be able to tell and they will respond immediately.

I realized pretty quickly that it wasn’t just Cooper who needed me to step up and be the pack leader with my calm, assertive energy – I needed it from myself, too! My own inner lizard (the source of my fear and angst) needs my calm, assertive energy, too.

And the thing is, I can’t fake it. None of us can. To cultivate that energy in myself, I have to first really get into my body (instead of being only in my head constantly) and I have to build time into my day to get centered. If I’m at all scattered, it just doesn’t work.

Try it out today – get yourself into a state of feeling calm and centered and see how life responds to you.